Make Happy Happen - Training the Mind Part II

Make Happy Happen!

Fill your thoughts with exotic vacations, laughing children, puppy dogs, butterflies, puffy clouds—anything and everything that makes you feel happy. Put a smile on your face and open your eyes wider. Just try it! You will find that it works. You will begin to feel better. The people around you will start treating you differently. Their moods will change when they see you smiling. See how long you can go without thinking negatively. If you find yourself thinking negatively again, do not get frustrated. Simply bring yourself back to your happy thoughts. If the people around you are talking negatively, then simply excuse yourself or change the subject. To be happy, just think and express happiness. It really is that simple. Your body’s expressions often express to others how you are feeling, but a smile, a laugh, or a happy face can also change the way you and others feel.

To see how this works, try doing this powerful exercise.

Just Put on a Happy Face!

1. Smile as you go about your day. Make eye contact and smile at people you pass on the street, clerks, and coworkers—anyone and everyone you encounter.

2. Notice how many people smile back. You will be amazed. It is difficult not to respond with a smile when someone smiles at you.

3. Think about how it makes you feel when someone smiles at you. Before long, you will find that the smile you forced yourself to wear at the beginning of the exercise is because there

you just plain feel better.

When you are in the present, you become the gift.

Another thing you can do to make happy happen is keep your thoughts in the present moment. My grandmother says, “Every moment is a gift. That is why we call it the present.” We must try to remember that we are Human Beings, not Human Doings. Our minds have strong tendencies to leap into thoughts of the past or future.

It is okay to think over a past situation in order to extract the lesson from the experience, but when you obsess about the past, reliving it over and over again, you are scattering your energy. Remember, energy cannot be created or destroyed, and it is very valuable. When your thoughts get stuck in the past or the future, the energy for living your present life is transformed and wasted for that moment. You cannot live your life without being there. Thought energy that is being wasted on past actions could be used in the present moment. Energy used in the present moment can shape your desired future.

Sometimes a client will tell me that he or she has fallen off the diet wagon. The person will say, “I feel terrible about it. Oh, no! Now I am never going to lose weight. I did this wrong, and I did that wrong, and this is what happened!”

It has already happened. It is done. Right? The person is talking about the past and feeling terrible. The past cannot be changed, so I ask the person to leave it behind and move into the present. “At the present,” I say, “you are producing negative emotions that are dumping their chemicals into your body. You are presently ‘spending your energy’ on unhappiness instead of happiness.” That is not the best use of your energy currency.

The client will be half-listening and say, “You are right! I am thinking positively, starting now. I know that I will be thinner one day, and when I am thinner, I will be happy, and I will wear the clothes I like and meet the person of my dreams, and then…”

I tell the person to STOP right there! I say, “That kind of thinking scatters your energy into the future. Set a goal and plan for the future, but concentrate your energy on this moment. Be happy now—in this moment. Take action now for what you have visualized as your future.” I usually tell the client, “Right now, at this moment, instead of wasting your energy on talking about a possible future, you could be using it to exercise—and be creating that future instead!”

When the mind is lucid, relaxed, and experiencing thoughts, then it is present. Imagine that the mind is like a fire hose. Thoughts are like the thousands of gallons of water that are passing through the hose every minute. Most people get caught up in the feelings their thoughts create and believe that this is who they are. This would be like the fire hose thinking that it is the water running through it. Thoughts run, and often ruin, many lives due to this confusion. Your first step to avoiding this delusion is to focus the mind on what is being experienced in the present moment. Stay relaxed and experience each moment as it is. Do not allow emotions to dictate your energy use because this will leave you scattered and confused.

If you are dealing with depression or stress, try asking yourself, “Am I all right now? At this exact moment, am I okay?” Bring your mind into the present moment by asking yourself questions about this moment.

Here is an example: A client might show up and forget to bring a check. I have bills that are due. It is easy to let my mind slip into the future of “what if’s” when such a situation arises.

Instead of filling my mind with anxiety, I bring myself to the present moment and ask myself, “Am I okay right now?” The answer is, “Yes. I have food, clothing, shelter, and many other things to sustain me right now. What am I doing right now? I am filling my mind with feelings of plenty, and I am working with a client who I know will pay me later. Everything is fine right now, in this moment. I am okay right now!”

Right now, at this very moment, we have a mind, which is all the basic equipment we need to achieve complete happiness.

~ Howard Cutler